The NES Series
by prastarkeepers
Summary: A spinoff of The Smash Freshmen. Villager and Olimar travel through Nintendo's history to gather data on the various games of the NES.
1. Mahjong

The NES Series:

Mahjong

"Hey, kid, it's your turn."

Villager looked around in confusion. He and Olimar seemed to be sitting across from each other at a small table, while all around them was pitch black emptiness. On the table, a mahjong match had been set up, although it seemed to be only set up for two people.

"Wh-where are we?" he asked.

Olimar glanced around and shrugged. "Some sort of primordial void that existed before our multiverse was fully formed."

"Okay," Villager said slowly, "but, what are we doing here?"

"Mario explained it all at the meeting. Weren't you paying attention?"

Villager's cheeks turned red and he looked down. "Not really," he admitted.

Olimar cocked his head to the side. "You're Mario's biggest fan," he said. "You hang on his every word. What in the world could possibly have distracted you?"

Villager looked at the ground, refusing to meet Olimar's eyes. "Jazz was . . . stretching in the next room."

Olimar's mouth hung open as he stared at Villager. "Dude, that's just wrong."

"No, no," Villager said quickly, "it wasn't like that. I was . . . she was . . . just tell me what Mario said."

Olimar grinned and chuckled. "Mario and R.O.B. 01 sent us on a mission to travel through the dimensional rifts and gather data on every Nintendo game produced for the NES, or in this case, the Famicom. Mahjong was one of the very first, so we're here. Mario also wanted us to look for prospective newcomers for Smash Five, but," he picked up a small tile from the table and examined it, "I don't think we're going to find many possibilities here."

"Wait, what about _The Smash Freshmen_?" Villager asked with concern. "Is it over? Did we miss the end? You were—"

"Don't worry," Olimar said. "Prastarkeepers is still writing it. He just wrote this little thing up in his spare time. For fun, you know. Just short little pieces here and there. Definitely not a weekly thing. Just whenever he can get around to it."

"So, does this mean we win, in the end? Does this mean we save you?"

Olimar shrugged. "Don't know. Haven't gotten that far yet. Although, between you and me, I certainly hope so. But enough about me, we're here to talk about mahjong. How do you play this thing anyway?"

"Why don't you read the guidebook?"

"I tried. It's all in Japanese."

"So? You're a Japanese character."

"I'm the English dub."

Villager sighed, shaking his head. "Alright. First off, I'd just like to point out that we are technically playing Japanese mahjong, not the original Chinese mahjong. There are a few differences, but for now let's focus on the Japanese version. See the row of tiles in front of you. The basic point of the game is to form it into a winning hand."

"Which means?"

"You have to have four melds and one pair."

"Melds?"

"Yeah. A meld can either be three of the same kind, or three in sequential order, like one, two, three, et cetera."

Olimar squinted at his tiles. "I don't think I'm seeing any ones, twos, or threes here."

"They come in three different kinds of suits. There's the ones that have the big circles on them, the ones with the little bamboo sticks on them, and the ones with the little Chinese characters. You can only make melds with tiles of the same suit, so no mixing."

"Okay, I think I get it," Olimar said. He held up a tile with Chinese characters on it. "How am I supposed to know which number's which on these ones?"

Villager scratched at his ear, thinking for a minute. "Um, I'm . . . not sure. Just stick to the other ones for now. You can look it up later."

Olimar nodded, studying his hand. "Okay, but what about these other tiles? The blue characters and the block thing?"

"Those are the wind and dragon suits. There are four kinds of winds and three dragons. They don't have a specific order, so you can only use them for sets of the same kind."

"Okay, okay, I see," Olimar said. "And you play by picking up a new tile and discarding another one, like most western card games?"

"In a nutshell," Villager replied.

"Cool, so is that all I need to know?"

"Not really, there's actually a lot more to it than that. I just kind of gave you the skin-and-bones version of it."

"That's good enough for me. Let's play. Oh, by the way, it's still your turn."

Villager shook his head and smiled. Reaching across the table, he picked up a tile from the wall of tiles in front of Olimar. _7-Nin_, he thought to himself. He glanced down at his hand. _Yeah, I could use this._


	2. Popeye

The NES Series:

Popeye

"Hold down the line, men!" the foreman shouted.

All across the deck of the ship, sailors of all shapes and sizes rushed about their duties through wind and rain and the constant rocking of the ocean waves. Among them, a very haggard-looking Villager and Olimar ran to secure a loose line of rigging.

"How did we get here again?" Olimar shouted over the roar of the ocean.

"You blew all of our money on that mahjong game," Villager shouted back, "so I had to get us jobs on this boat."

Olimar squinted at Villager as the two grabbed hold of the line and started to pull it down. "What, you couldn't find any more, I don't know, stable jobs?"

"Not really," Villager replied. "Plus, taking this job would help us gather data for the next game on our list."

"Oh, yeah? What game is that?"

"Popeye."

"Popeye!" Olimar dropped the rope, leaving Villager to be dragged forward several feet by the powerful line.

"Olimar," he said, straining to keep his balance. "A little help."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, hang on a minute. You said Popeye? Oh, geez. Look, kid, I understand that the Wii Fit Trainer is a very attractive young woman, but you've got to be paying enough attention to realize that Mario said _Nintendo_ games. Not _non_-Nintendo cartoons from the sixties."

"No. I'm talking about the game. The one Nintendo released as an arcade game in nineteen eighty-two and later ported to the NES."

Olimar raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying there's actually a Nintendo Popeye game?"

"Yes," Villager said, desperately clinging to the rope. "Now can you give me a hand here?"

"Oh, right." Olimar wrapped his hands around the rope and resumed pulling once again. "So, if Nintendo made a Popeye game, does that mean Popeye is an option for Smash Five? Because I'm not gonna lie, that would be seriously cool."

"Not exactly," Villager replied. "Nintendo doesn't have the rights to him. They were only able to use his name and characters for a few games."

"Aw, bummer. Oh, well, I'm putting him down on the list anyway. We made Sonic happen. We can make Popeye happen too."

Working together, Villager and Olimar managed to tie down and secure the rope. While they were doing so, the clouds overhead parted and the rain started to died down.

"Okay," Olimar said, stretching his shoulders, "So, where is the big guy anyway?"

"Popeye?" Villager asked. "He's over at the helm." He pointed to the quarterdeck where a shorter man with large forearms, a strong chin, and a pipe was arguing with a massive, muscular man with a beard.

"Well, what do you know," Olimar said. "The other guy's Bluto, right?"

Villager nodded. "Or Brutus. The names are pretty interchangeable."

"I wonder if I could get their—"

Olimar stopped as his eyes wandered to a lone white can rolling across the deck nearby. He stooped and picked it up. "Is this . . . spinach?"

"Yeah, I think so," Villager said.

Olimar looked at the can, then up to Popeye and Bluto. Then back at the can. Then back to Popeye and Bluto. A mischievous grin spread across his face.

"Olimar," Villager said warily, "what are you thinking?"

Olimar looked up at Villager. "You take over here," he said. "There's something I've always wanted to try."

"I really don't think you should—," Villager tried as Olimar walked away, popping the lid off the can as he went. Villager gave up the attempt and hung his head. "We are so fired."


	3. Popeye no Eigo Asobi

The NES Series:

Popeye Eigo no Asobi

In a small port town on the coast of some undisclosed country, a sailing vessel pulled into harbor. Just before it reached the docks, a catapult was fired from its deck, propelling two of its passengers into the air several hundred feet before crashing into a random cabbage cart in the streets on shore.

"And stay off!" an irate sailor shouted from the deck of the ship.

From amidst the scattered wreckage of the cart and demolished cabbages, Olimar and Villager stuck their heads up.

"You _had _to do it, didn't you?" Villager said, picking leafy greens out of his hair.

"Yes, I did," Olimar said proudly, puffing out his chest. A large cabbage leaf slid down from the top of his helmet until it was obscuring his face.

"Oh, yeah," Villager said sarcastically, "Big, tough Olimar just had to go and have some fun with spinach. Now we have no money, no job, whoever owns this cart is going to be furious, and I'm sure you realize we now have to go tracking down Popeye again because the next game on our list stars him too."

"Really?" Olimar asked, removing the leaf. "Another one? Which one is that?"

"Popeye Eigo no Asobi."

"Gesundheit."

Villager sighed. "It roughly translates to 'Popeye's English Class.' It was an educational game, kind of like Donkey Kong Junior Math. It was only released in Japan."

Olimar raised an eyebrow. "Popeye's _English_ Class," he said slowly, "only released in _Japan_?"

"Yeah. Olive would give Popeye the Japanese word and then Popeye would have to spell out the English translation."

"Oh, so it was more like a Foreign Language class than the typical American definition of 'English class.'"

"Yeah, exactly."

"Okay then, let's go find Popeye again and talk to him about it."

"I'm . . . not sure that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure Popeye hasn't forgotten your face yet, and he has the spinach now."

Olimar paused as he considered the implications. "Fair point," he said. "But Popeye's a good guy, right? He wouldn't hold a grudge, would he?"

"Whatever you say," Villager replied. "It's your neck on the line, not mine."

Picking their way out of the cabbages, Villager and Olimar made their way through the port town searching high and low for the famous sailor man. After about fifteen minutes, they found him sitting under some trees with a tall skinny woman by his side.

"Okay, Popeye," the woman said in a thick nasally voice, handing him a small chalkboard. "Translate this word: _Neko._"

"Okay, I got dis, I got dis," Popeye grunted in his signature gruff voice. "Um, C-A—"

"Um, Mister Popeye, sir," Villager said, approaching him cautiously.

"Yeah, what d'ya want?" the sailor said, looking up from his work. When he saw Olimar and Villager standing before him, his good left eye bulged. "Hey, I know youse guys! Youse the chumps what tried to beat up Bluto and me."

"Oh, um, yeah," Villager tried. "About that, we're really sorry and—"

"Olive, holds me chalkboard," Popeye said, handing the board to his girlfriend. "I gots to teach these chumps a lesson."

Villager backed away from the angry sailor as he got to his feet and pushed up his sleeves. "Run?" Olimar asked.

Villager nodded. "Yes. Run now."

Both Villager and Olimar took off running as fast as they could. Popeye followed closely behind them, shouting family-friendly expletives at them as they went.

"Well," Olimar said as they ran, "at least we know why he needs an English class."


	4. Gomoku Narabe Renju

The NES Series:

Gomoku Narabe Renju

"Is he gone?"

"I'm not sure."

Villager climbed up onto a stack of crates and peeked out through the tiny window that provided the only view of the outside world to the tiny stone basement he and Olimar were currently hiding out in. Outside on the cobblestone street, he could see the feet of a sailor and several others running back and forth looking for something.

"Not yet," Villager said, turning back to where Olimar was hunkered down between two barrels. "He and his friends are still out there looking for us."

"How long do you think he'll keep looking?"

Villager shrugged. "Who can say? With all that spinach he ate when we passed that open air market, he could be at it for months."

"Ah," Olimar said, twiddling his thumbs. "So what do we do until then?"

"Well," Villager said, hopping down off the crate, "there's a year's supply of food in all these crates and barrels, and running water in that sink. We may just have to wait it out."

"Great. And just what are we going to do in the meantime?"

"I don't know. We could play a board game."

Olimar considered for a second, and then shrugged. "I suppose. What did you have in mind?"

"How about . . . Gomoku Narabe Renju!"

Villager pulled a small board and a bag of black and white chips from his pocket. Olimar stared at him for a second.

"It's never just checkers with you, is it?" he asked.

"Oh, come on, it's fun," Villager said, setting the board down on the concrete floor.

"Sure, but how am I supposed to play something when I can't even understand its name?"

"You play Parcheesy, don't you?"

"Fair enough. Still, what does it mean?"

"'Five Points in a Row,' roughly. It's basically Connect Five."

"You mean that kids' game with the weird blue stand that you drop red and yellow pieces into like a coin counter."

"Sort of. That kids' game is actually based on this."

"Okay, I know how to play this. I call white."

Olimar held out his hand for Villager to deposit the white chips.

"Just remember," Villager said, "On this board, you place the chips where the lines meet, not in the squares."

"Got it. I'm first!" Olimar threw down a chip into the center of the board.

"Actually," Villager said, removing Olimar's chip and replacing it with one of his own. "Black goes first in this game."

"Dude, not cool."


	5. Family BASIC

The NES Series:

Family BASIC

"Run, Olimar, run!"

"I'm running! I'm running!"

Villager glanced behind them. Popeye, Bluto, Olive, and basically every other cast member of the old sixties cartoon was currently chasing the pair through the streets of Popeye's home port town. Olimar and Villager turned a corner to find themselves trapped in a dead end.

"Well, this is just great," Olimar said as the two backed up against the brick wall, Popeye and his friends bearing down on them. "How did we get into this mess again?"

"Do we really have to rehash the entire past three chapters?" Villager asked.

"Maybe."

"Well, needless to say, it was all your fault."

"Mine? You were the one who got too excited over that Gomoku game and alerted Popeye and his crew to our hiding spot."

Villager bit his lip. "That's fair."

The crowd gathered around Villager and Olimar, torches in hand. Popeye stepped to the front of the group, shoving up his sleeves. "Any las' woids, chumps?"

"Villager," Olimar said, "if I don't make it, tell my wife and kid I love them."

Villager nodded. "And if I don't make it, tell Lassy that she can have my 3DS. And also tell Jazz that I think she is a very fine woman."

"Very fine woman? What, are you from the sixties?" Olimar glanced around at the surrounding mob. "Never mind."

"I'm going to give it to youse guys real good," Popeye said, twirling his fist around in a circle.

"Any ideas?" Olimar recoiled against the wall.

"Hold on," Villager replied, shuffling through his pockets. He produced a small keyboard. He stared at it for a second. "Oh, I've got it!"

Villager held up the board and rapidly punched in a combination of letters. He slammed the enter key and Popeye, the mob, and everything else vanished, leaving Villager and Olimar alone, floating through an empty black void.

Olimar looked around. "Whoa, what did you do?"

Villager twirled the keyboard around and stowed it in his pocket again. "I used the Family BASIC."

"What's that?"

"It was this old programming game for the NES. It came with a keyboard and a data recorder, and you could write, do math, play or create simple games, and all sorts of stuff."

"Huh. And this game had the power to rewrite the entire system?"

Villager glanced at his feet. "No, not really."

"Then . . . what did you just do?"

Villager stuck his hands in his pockets and bounced on his heels. "Pulled a Deus ex Machina."

Olimar stared at Villager for a moment before shrugging. "Works for me. So, now what are we going to do?"

The two stared at the black void around them. "We could play Mahjong again," Villager suggested.

"Sure, set it up."

* * *

><p>Sorry, everyone. No Smash Freshmen today. However, I didn't want to leave you all completely hanging, so I managed to squeeze out this chapter of the NES series. See my blog at prastarkeepers blogspot com tomorrow for more information. Again, I'm sorry.<p> 


	6. Devil World

The NES Series:

Devil World

"Bring in the prisoners!"

The heavy throne room door swung open and three demons entered, dragging behind them a pair of hooded captives bound in chains. The demons crossed the vast cavern and deposited their charges before a large imposing throne. A fat blue devil wearing nothing but a speedo and shoes lounged on it, picking his teeth with a chicken bone.

"Uncover their faces," he ordered his minions.

The demons complied, removing the hoods to reveal Villager and Olimar.

"Well, well, well," the devil said, standing up from his throne and walking toward the captives with his hands behind his back. "A couple of Super Smash Bros. alums, right? Villager Ramon Houseman and Olimar Orima Hocotate. Isn't this a pleasant surprise?"

Olimar glanced over at Villager. "Your middle name is Ramon?"

"Not now," Villager muttered under his breath.

The devil pulled a piece of parchment from his speedo and looked it over. He glanced back at Olimar and Villager and tisked. "My, my, you two have been busy, haven't you? Cheating at mahjong. Ticking off one of the most iconic cartoon characters ever. Pulling a Deus ex Machina. You boys have no idea the kind of punishment you're in for. I'm not sure even the dog from Duck Hunt deserves this kind of punishment."

Olimar put his tongue in his cheek. "Oh, come on, it can't be that bad," he said. "Sure we made a bit of a mess, but we're the heroes in our home games. Surely our good deeds make up for it."

"What good deeds?" the devil snapped. "All you did was crash-land on an alien planet and then enslave an entire species for your own personal benefit."

"It was a working relationship," Olimar replied sheepishly.

The devil moved on to Villager. "And you!"

Villager looked around in confusion. "What did I do? I'm completely innocent."

"Sure you are. I've seen the memes, sicko."

Villager hung his head and sighed. "Darn you, internet."

The devil shook his head in disgust. "You two are going to be here for a long time."

"Come on," Olimar said, "There's got to be something we can do to get out of this. We can make a deal. You're the devil, right? The devil always likes making deals in movies and TV."

The devil leaned in closely to Olimar, his putrid breath fogging up the astronaut's helmet. "This is a video game. It doesn't work that way. Boss fights are the only things that work here and since I'm not programmed to be fought one-on-one, I guess you're out of luck."

"Wait," Villager said, "We're friends with Mario. We can put in a good word for you to be a candidate for Smash Five."

The devil raised an eyebrow. He thought for a moment, scratching his chin. "I thought protagonists got first pick in a franchise?"

"Well, yeah," Olimar said, following Villager's lead, "but you are clearly the star of this game. You're like Freddy Krueger or the Terminator. No one cares about who the good guys were in those movies. I mean, Sarah Connor who?"

The devil grinned, puffing out his bare chest. "You really think so?"

Oh, we know so," Villager said. "And, heck, if that's not enough, we could work the system so that both you and Tamagon get a slot. It's happened before."

The devil considered for a few more minutes. "You know what? I think I'll take you up on that." He gestured to his minions. "Release them."

As the demons worked at Villager and Olimar's chains, another one ran in through a side tunnel. "Sir, Tamagon's back."

The devil sighed in irritation. "Oh, great."

"Anything the matter?" Villager asked, rubbing his newly unshackled wrists.

"No. This stupid dragon just keeps showing up at my door, shoving crosses and Bibles in my face. I think he's trying to convert me or something." He looked at his demons. "Come on, boys, let's get the walls moving again. Maybe we can squish him this time."


	7. F-1 Race

The NES Series:

F-1 Race

A loud hum filled the air as a series of small, one-man vehicles sped around a large track surrounded by endless grassy plains on all sides. Near the starting line, a small row of bleachers sat before a pit where a number of workers in mechanic's uniforms stood waiting for their charges to pull in for maintenance. Among them, Olimar and Villager stood leaning against a stack of tires.

"Our boy's doing pretty well out there, eh, Olimar?" Villager said.

"I guess," Olimar said. "It feels like he's way behind to me. Every time he passes someone, five more show up in front of him. I mean, who's even in the lead in this race?"

Villager shrugged. "We're in the early days of racing games. They didn't really have a fully developed competitive racing system going on yet. It was mostly just about making the turns and avoiding the other drivers."

"So, no multiplayer, then?"

"Oh, no, it supported up to four players. It could get pretty competitive then, but we're currently watching a single-player race, so most of the other racers act more like obstacles than actual competition."

Olimar nodded. "I see. So how did we get involved in this again?"

"Well, we still have a lot of debts to pay off, and since _somebody_ got us fired from our sailing job, we had to find employment elsewhere."

"Yeah, _somebody_," Olimar chuckled. "Stupid Popeye."

"I was referring to you."

"Whatever you say. So, are we getting a Smash Five candidate out of this or what?"

Villager studied the screen above them for a moment as the first-player racer passed a group of opponents and turned a corner. "Um, I don't imagine so. I mean, we do have the driver, but he doesn't really leave his car in-game, and I'm pretty sure even gamers familiar with the game don't really know what he looks like."

"So that's a pass?"

"Probably."

Olimar reached into his coveralls pocket and pulled out a small notebook, scribbling something down. He capped the pen and stuffed it and the notebook back in the pocket.

"So, what _does_ he look like?"

Villager pointed as a car pulled into the pit. "See for yourself," he said. "We're up."

Villager grabbed the gas pump and went straight to the car's tank, while Olimar leaned over the hood to get a good look at the driver's face. "Huh," he said, "interesting."


	8. 4 Nin Uchi Mahjong

The NES Series:

4 Nin Uchi Mahjong

"Okay, let's see," Olimar said. "I think Mega Man starts first."

Rock and Jazz looked up in confusion. They were sitting at a table in the middle of an endless black void. Villager and Olimar sat at the table with them. A full mahjong game was set up before them.

"Um, where are we?" Jazz asked.

"How did we get here?" Rock said. "I was in the middle of talks with Capcom for better representation of my series."

"Sorry about that," Villager said. "We needed two more players. Olimar wanted to play mahjong again, but we're kind of on probation at the moment."

"Yeah," Olimar said. "This devil guy says we're not allowed to play mahjong anymore without 'supervision.'"

Jazz raised an eyebrow. "What did you guys do to get banned from playing mahjong?"

Villager turned red and looked down. "You don't want to know."

Olimar leaned in to Rock and whispered, "Totally beat the stuffing out of Popeye and Bluto. It was epic."

Jazz looked between Villager and Olimar. "Okay," she said slowly. "So, how do we play?"

"Well, you start with the thirteen tiles in front of you," Villager explained, "and the goal is to get a winning hand. You do that by—"

Olimar let out a long moan. "We already went through this eight chapters ago. Do we really have to go over it again?"

"Well, Jazz and Rock have to know how to play too."

"Look, Rock, you're east wind, so you go first. Pick up a tile from this wall we've got here. If it can help you make three-of-a-kind or a run, you're good. You want four of those, plus a pair. Once you're done with your turn, throw a piece in the middle. It's that easy. Now go."

"It's not that simple, Olimar," Villager said. "There are a lot of different rules and—"

"I don't care. I just want to play mahjong. Go."

Villager breathed in exasperation. "I guess it's your turn, Rock."

Rock was silent for a second, looking between Villager and Olimar. He glanced at Jazz, who shrugged. "I guess I'll just download the instructions then," he said. He reached a tentative hand across the table and picked up a tile.


	9. Excitebike

The NES Series:

Excitebike

The crowd cheered in resonating chorus, creating a rumble that matched the steady vibration of the bike between Villager's legs. He gripped the handlebars, enjoying the feeling of the thick rubbery grips beneath his fingers. He looked at his fellow racers on either side of them, each one clad in orange, blue, or purple jumpsuits, their faces obscured by large white helmets.

"Okay, you're good to go," Olimar said, standing up from where he had been running maintenance on Villager's bike. "Why exactly are you on that bike, and I'm still stuck doing pit crew?"

"Well, since Excitebike is being represented as a DLC track on Mario Kart 8, and I'm a DLC racer for that game, the managers of the track thought it would be a great publicity stunt to have me as a special guest for the race. As for you, well, we do still have our jobs as pit crew."

Olimar let out a long breath and rolled his squinty eyes. "Okay, but why do Rock and Jazz just get to sit and enjoy the race then? I could really use the help of a robot out here."

Villager glanced out at the stands where Rock and Jazz were sitting in the front row. Jazz was sipping a fruit smoothie, while Rock was holding up a large banner that read, "GO VILLAGER!"

"They are our guests, Olimar," Villager said. "We can't expect them to do our jobs for us."

"Okay, fine. Do I at least get to add a name to the Smash Five list from this game?"

Villager shrugged. "Sure. People have been requesting an Excitebiker for years."

"Really?" Olimar said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, of course. He's been right up there with Balloon Fighter and Ice Climbers as NES options since Melee."

"If you say so. It just seems to me like they wouldn't work all that great as a character."

"Why not?"

"Well, isn't the point of the character to be on a bike the entire time? What could anyone do on a bike?"

"Wario rides a bike."

"Yeah, but he's not on it the entire time. It's just one move. The bike is all an Excitebiker would have."

"Bowser Junior spent all of his time in a Klown Kar."

"No offense, but his Klown Kar was tricked out with a lot more capabilities than these bikes will ever have."

The Excitebiker to Villager's left leaned down and tapped Olimar on the shoulder. "Hey, are you guys talking about Super Smash Bros.?"

Olimar looked at the guy and nodded. "Yeah. We're supposed to be looking for candidates for Smash Five."

"Dude, put me down," he said. "I've been sending in an application for years. I'd love to be a Smasher."

Olimar shook his head. "I don't think so. I'd love to, but I'm just not convinced about what you bikers could possibly do on a battlefield."

"Oh," the biker said, sitting up straight on his bike. "You're one of those people, are you?"

A voice boomed across the arena. "Racers, start your engines."

Olimar bent down and picked up his tools. "Well, you guys have a fun race out there." He stepped out from the line of bikes and walked out to the long grassy strip alongside the track. The Excitebiker leaned in to Villager.

"So your friend thinks us bikers can't make it in Smash, huh?"

Villager nodded. "I don't agree. I think you guys would be awesome in it."

"Well then, what say we show your friend just what we can do, eh?"

Villager grinned. The announcer's voice counted down from three and the whistle blew to signal the start of the race. Villager clutched down on his handles, planted his feet into the pedals, and sped forward.


	10. Clu Clu Land

The NES Series:

Clu Clu Land

"According to the map, the portal should be just up ahead."

Thick darkness surrounded Villager, Jazz, Rock, and Olimar as the four dove deeper and deeper underwater. The world seemed almost surreal to Villager through the large round helmet he had borrowed from Olimar.

"Are you sure you two can't stay longer?" Villager asked.

"Nope, sorry, buddy," Rock replied. "Mario wants us to check out the games for the Game Boy, and he said he wants us to get on it right away."

"But we'll try to visit here and there," Jazz said. "Mostly whenever we come across games released for both systems."

The four divers touched down on the ocean floor and looked around. Strange poles stuck up out of the ground around them, wobbling gently in the current.

"What are these things?" Jazz asked.

"I'm not sure," Villager said. "Something from the old game Clu Clu Land, I think." He put out his hand and touched one. "I think they're organic, like a plant or something."

Rock held up the waterproof map he was holding. "From this spot, the portal should be just ahead. Let's go."

Villager, Jazz, and Rock waded forward, passing between two poles. As they passed, Jazz's foot scraped along the bottom, kicking up mud and uncovering a gleaming gold ingot.

"Hey, check it out," Olimar said, bending to pick it up. He held it up to the faint light rippling down from above and inspected it. "How much do you bet it's worth?"

Villager, Jazz, and Rock ignored him, engrossed in their consultation of Rock's map. They passed between another pair of poles, uncovering another ingot.

"Jackpot!" Olimar said, snatching that one up as well. He looked at the ingot and then turned his gaze to the two poles on either side of it. "I wonder . . . ."

"Hey, there it is," Rock said, looking up from the map. Just over a small ridge a few feet ahead of them, a vortex opened in the ground, swirling violently and kicking up a thick cloud of dirt around it. The vortex glowed slightly and it made a sound like someone slurping through a straw.

"Lovely," Jazz muttered. Behind her, Olimar zipped through a row of poles, gathering ingots as he went and giggling like a schoolboy at recess.

"Well, this is us," Rock said. He handed Jazz a small communicator. "I'll let you know if I make it through to the other side. If it turns me to scrap metal, don't follow."

"Got it," Jazz said.

Rock focused on the vortex and took a deep breath. He ran forward, over the ridge, shouted "Geronimo!" and dove in. Olimar ran by on the other side, his arms overflowing with gold ingots.

Villager and Jazz stood waiting in silence, neither one quite looking at each other.

"So," Villager said, clearing his throat, "How—how's the gym?"

"Oh, um, it's good," Jazz said, seeming to study a nearby pole. "Kinda busy, now that we're a trainer short. We've been conducting interviews to find a replacement for you-know-who."

"Ah," Villager said. "Hope you're conducting a thorough background search on all of your candidates."

"Oh, no worries," Jazz said. "We do _not_ want a repeat."

The two fell silent once again. Jazz checked Rock's communicator while Villager watched Olimar collide with a small red fish and scatter his ingots everywhere.

"So, how's Lassy?" Jazz asked.

"Oh, she's good. She's actually mayor now."

"Oh, good for her."

"Yeah, I kind of stepped down so that I could help with Smash Five."

"That's cool."

The two fell silent once again. Villager swallowed, gathering his courage. He turned to her. "Hey, Jazz, I was wondering—"

He was interrupted when Rock's communicator beeped. Jazz tapped the center button and held it up to her ear.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Hey, it's cool," Rock's voice said from the other end. "A little disorienting, but you should be fine."

"Alright, I'll head on through."

Jazz tapped the device off. "Well, I guess I'm off," she said. She turned to Villager. "See you around?"

"Yeah," Villager said, "see you."

Jazz waved goodbye, then ran forward and dove into the vortex, disappearing within it. Villager watched her go, letting out a long sigh. A tap on the shoulder woke him from his reverie.

"Hey, um, Villager," Olimar said. "We're kind of in trouble?"

Villager turned to look at Olimar and the red fish. "What?" He stopped as he saw the legion of dark blue, spiny urchins lining the ocean floor behind them. He slowly turned to see hundreds coming at them from all sides.

"What did you do?" Villager asked.

"It's the fish's fault, I swear."


	11. Tennis

The NES Series:

Tennis

The crowd cheered as the small lightweight ball sailed through the air. The player on the far side of the court swung his racket, intercepting the ball and sending it rocketing back to the other side of the net. His opponent sent it bouncing back. Their game of back-and-forth continued for several turns until one of them missed his shot and the ball bounced off into the sidelines.

A short Italian man watching closely from a high chair at the side of the court shouted, "In!"

Beside the referee, two individuals stood on the sidelines, wrapped in towels and dripping wet.

"Th-thanks for saving us, M-Mario," Villager said, chills running up and down his body and making him shake like a purse dog.

"No problem," Mario said, glancing down at them from his referee chair. "What did you guys do to aggravate so many Unira anyway? They normally only come out in groups of two or three."

Villager gave Olimar an expectant look. Olimar shivered. "I have no idea," he said. "You'll have to ask that fish. It was her fault."

"Right," Mario said. He glanced back at the court as the ball sailed past. One of the players missed their shot. "Out!" Mario shouted. He looked back at Villager and Olimar. "So how goes the NES analysis?"

"It's good," Villager said. "We've checked out about ten games so far."

"Any good candidates for Smash Five yet?"

Villager nudged Olimar. "Show him the list."

Olimar reached into one of the pockets of his spacesuit and pulled out a small soggy notepad. He handed it up to Mario. "It got a little wet," he said. "Sorry."

Mario took the list and perused it. "Popeye . . . Tamagon . . . The Devil . . . only five so far? Toon Link and Buckenberry have been going at their SNES series for as long as you two have and their list is much longer."

"Showoffs," Olimar mumbled under his breath.

"In all fairness," Villager said, "Most of the SNES games came out at a time when games started to become more character- and story-driven, while the early NES games were more about the mechanics of the game and only had generic avatars for characters."

Mario nodded, handing back the notepad. "Understandable," he said.

"Seriously, though," Olimar said. "Look at this game. It's just . . . tennis. Where's the flair? Where's the interesting characters? Those two players out on the court. Do you think anyone knows anything about them, much less their names?"

Mario sat up and crossed his arms. "_Ted_ and I go to lunch every Saturday, and _Bob_ was my roommate in medical school."

Olimar's face paled. "Oh. Um, I'm sure they're lovely people."


End file.
